Aag pakad leta.

1 Angrez ne India ka masaledar dinner liya,
.
.
Agli subah toilet se nikalte hi bola...
.
.
.
.
.
" Ab samjha Indians pani se kyu dhote hain,
Saala tissue paper hota to Aag pakad leta. 

wich laptop do u hav?

boy to boy :-wich laptop do u hav?
.
.
.
.
.
Boy :-Dell XPS15,i7 procssr 2.2ghz,
wth led display 4gb ram 1tb hrd disk n 2gb NVDIA grafix crd.
.
.
.
girl to girl-:wich laptop do u hav ?
.
Girl :- pink wala...

Zada chaalak mat ban

1 Beautiful Larki ne Ghar ka kuch Saman 1 Gali k
Ladke se Mangwaya,
.
To saman mein 30 Rs Kam Pad Gaye..Us Larky Ne
Apne paas se De Diye.
.
Ghar aa kr Lrki Se kaha
30Rs kam They, mene Diye Hain.
.
To Larki ne kaha…
*I LOVE U*
. .
.
Wo Muskraya or Kaha - Zada chaalak mat ban mere 30Rs nikaal:D :P

Mujhe tumse koi baat nahi karni!

On the set of KBC...

A guy got stuck on a Rs. 1 crore
question.
He uses phone-a-friend, and
chooses
His girlfriend to ask the answer.

Amitabh: Hey, you've got 30
seconds
To answer and your time starts
now!

Boy reads out the question and
the 4 options.

Girl: Mil gaya time tumhe phone
karne ka?
Mujhe tumse koi baat nahi karni!
Byeee!!

Train 5 minute LATE ho gayi hai:

1 Baccha apni toy train se khel raha tha or bar bar bol raha tha"jinkutto" ko chadna hai chad jao, jin 'kameeno' ko utarna hai utar jao.
Baap ne uski train rok k thappad laga diya.
.
.
.
Baccha thodi der ro k chup ho gaya or phir shuru ho gaya"jin kutto ko chadna hai chad jao,jin kameeno ko utarna hai utar jao.
Pehle hi kisi HARAMI ki wajha se Train 5 minute LATE ho gayi hai:

Do u hv any gf?

Toofani barish me raat ko pizza hut pe
1 Ladka pizza lene Gaya
.
Waiter: Do u hv any gf?
.
. .
.
.
Ladka: Kutte is tufani barish me Aur kya
meri MAA pizza lene bhejegi sale kaminey... ;)

Tu Ek Number Ka Tharki He

12 Saal K Ladke Ne 20 Saal Ki LadkiKo Phool Dia
.
.
.
.
Ladki Ne Kiss Dia
.
.
.
Wo Ghabra K Bhaga
.
.
Ladki Ne Pucha: Kya Hua
.
Ladka: Guldasta Le K Aa Raha Hu
.
Ladki:Sale Tu Ek Number Ka Tharki He 

padhne Wale bade Kaminey hai..

FAADU JOKE :D
Dr: Injection dekhte hi tum Chillati ho
.
us din kya Karogi?
.
.
.
Girl: Kis Din......?
.
Dr: Jaane Do,
Ye padhne Wale bade Kaminey hai..

gala baith gaya tha kya....??

Ek ladka TRAIN me chadne laga
Akashwani hui:
"Isme mat chad
ye patri se utar jayegi"
.
PLANE me chadne laga Aawaj aayi "Ye
crash ho jayega"
.
BUS me aawaj aayi
"Ye khai me gir jayegi"
.
Ladka gusse se-"Kaun hai...?"

Aawaz aai-"GOD" .

Ladka-"Engineering me jab admission
le raha tha, tab
tumhara gala baith gaya tha
kya....???

FM Radio Le Le

Ladki- Muje Aisa Pati Chaiye Jo Achi
Bate Kre, HasiMazak Kre Or Raat Ko
Muje Gaane Sunaye
.
.
Ladka-Pati Ka Khwab Mt Dekh,Ek FM
Radio Le Le. ♥ ♥

tigdik tigdik tigdik

Doctor pagal se- Ye kya hai?

Pagal- Ye maine 500 panno ki kitab likhi hai...

Doctr- Tumne 500 panno pe kya likha?

Pagal: 1st page pe likha hai 1 raja ghode par baith ke jungal ki taraf chala, aur akhri page pe likha ke wo raja jungle pahuch gaya..

Doctor- To Kaminey!
Bich ke 498 panno pe kya likha?

Pagal- tigdik tigdik tigdik tigdik..

LadkiyaDupatta Kyun Pahnti Hai

Teacher Ne Class Mein Pappu Se
Pucha
Teacher: “Batao LadkiyaDupatta
Kyun
Pahnti Hai?”

Pappu: “Mam, Science Ki Wajah
Se”
Teacher: “Wo Kaisi”
Pappu: “Kyunki Science Bhi Is
BaatKo
Manti Hai Ki Khane Peene Ki Cheezo
Ko
Dhakk Kar Rakhna Chahiye“. . . .

Super Killer Joke

Boy and girl are sitting..
.
2 dogs kissed each
other
.
Boy- jaanu agar tum bura Na
mano to main bhii??????
.
Girl- ok, par sambhal ke..,
kahi
kutta kaat na le.

INDIA ki politics

1 Bar Obama, Manmohan,
Sonia
aur
Aishwrya
Train Me the.
Tbhi 1 Gufa Ayi Or Kissing aur
Jhapad
Ki awaj
Ayi.
Jb train bahar Ayi to
Obama ka Gaal
Laal tha,
... sb k sb chup.
Sonia soch rhi thi K ,Obama
Ne
Aish ko Kiss
Kiya Hoga,
Or thapad khaya Hoga.
.
Aish soch rhi thi K Obama
ne Muje
Kiss Krne k
Liye glti se Sonia Ko Kiss
Kiya hoga
aur
jhapad
Khaya.
.
Obama soch rha tha K
Manmohan
ne
Aish ko
kiss kiya Lekin aish ne
Muje Smja aur
muje
Jhapad Mara..
.
Manmohan soch rha tha 1
bar fir
gufa Aye aur
Mai kiss ki awaj Nikal kr fir
Obama
ko
Jhapad
Maru. Abhi isne INDIA ki politics
dekhi
kha
Hai.. :)))

Ladko Ka Dil

Aapko Pata Hai?
.
Ladko Ka Dil Mandir Ki Tarah Pavitra Hota Hai,
.
Isliye To, Jab Ladke “
I Love You” Kahte Hai,
.
To Ladkiyaan Apni Sandal Utar Leti Hai 

Fair & Lovely Hai Na

Maa- Nalayak,
Kaha Thi Itni Raat Tak??

Beti- Boyfrnd ke Saath..!

Maa-Kar Aayi Na Muh Kala??

Beti-To Kya Hua Maa ?
Fair & Lovely Hai Na...!!

Moral of D Story

Ek Ladke Ko Apni ClassfellowSe Pyar Ho
Gya. 

Ladke Ne Use Propose Kiya,

Lekin Ladki
Ne Inkar Kar Diya

Aur Teacher Ko Uski Complain Kardi. Teacher Ne Kafi Danta Or 1 Week Ke
Liye Class Se NikalDiya.

Jab Ladka 1 Week Baad Wapis Class Me
Gya To Ladki ko Usse Love Ho Gya.

Ladki Ne Uski Kitab Pe Likha “I Am Sorry & I Love You 2”..

Ladke Ne Koi Response NahiDiya. Isi Trah 2 Saal Guzar Gye...

Iske Baad
Bhi Ladke Ne Koi Response Nahi
Diya...!!
.
.
Moral of D Story
. .
. .
.
.
.
. . .
.
Kabhi Kitab Kholi Hoti tbhi to responce
krta na...…

Arre o romance ki bhuki

Girl demanded for icecream.

Boy purchased it. 

Girl: thnk u.
.
Boy:sirf thnk u
.
Girl:U want to kiss na?
.
Boy: Arre o romance ki bhuki..
Aadhi icecream de 

High Level Insult

1 LARKA park mai bench pe betha 1 k bad 1 chocolate kha rha tha. . . . 


Pas bethi LARKI boli: Jo ziada metha khatay hen wo jaldi mar jatay hen. . .


Boy: ap ko malum hay meri dadi ki age 106 saal thi. . . 


Larki: wo metha kam khati hongi. . . . . . 


Boy: nahi, Wo apny kaam se kaam rakhti thi. 

Bol mera baccha

GIRL- My janu, 
My baby,
 Mera Baccha, 
My sweetu,


 My golu.. kya tum mujhse shadi karoge? .


 Bol mera baccha. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 






BOY- Arre kamini, propose kar rahi hai ya goed le rahi hai? :P :D

Amitabh public toilet me

Amitabh public toilet me se pura bhig k
aata hai.
Jaya:aap to susu krne gye the?
Amitabh: Jaise hi mai ander gya, koi
bola "BIG B" aur sab meri aour ghum
gaye. 

Injured Patient

POLICE To Injured Patient:

Jab Car Ek Lady Chala Rahi Thi, To Tumhe Road Se Dur Chalna Chahiye Tha.
.
.
.
.
.

PATIENT: Kaun Sa Road!
Bhai Mein To Park Mein Leta Tha.!=))

ENGINEER

HAAR HAAR ke jitne walo ko
Baazigar kehte h wah Wah...

HAAR HAAR ke jitne walo ko
Baazigar kehte h wah wah ...
.
. .
.
.
Aur
.
.
Fail ho ho ke
Pass hone walo ko

ENGINEER kehte hai.. 

Oye gadhe

Dunia mein har insan ka kuch na kuch naam hai.

magar bheed mein jab hum awaz lagate hai.

Oye gadhe!!

Kasam se 20 mein se 18 palat kar dekhte hai. 

Santa & Marwadi

Marwadi: Chal Race lagaate hai,
Jo haara wo Rs1000 dega.

Santa: Thik hai par mujhe rasta nahi pata...

Marwadi:Bas tu mere PICHHE-PICHHE rehna!

Santa : THANX YAAR =D =))

Boys will always be Boys

Girl (in train) :- can i sit here?
.
Boy :- it all urs :)
.
Girl :-Awwwww!♥!
Thank you!♥!
.
Boy: most welcome!♥! :)
.
Girl: can i take some water?
.
Boy :- my pleasure!♥!
.
Girl :- Bhaiya agla station kaun sa hai ?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Boy :- mere baap ne mere dimag
me koi GPS fit nhi kiya hai,
jaldi seat khali ker mujhe neend aa rahi hai.